Pink Champagne
1980 Lisa deLeeuw
It's Pink Champagne - and it's SPECTACULAR! ALL SINGING! ALL DANCING! ALL F*** It's a red hot smash hit and the most outrageous X-Rated movie of our time. Absolutely incomparable - what's to compare with it? It is absolutely the most lavish, expensively mounted, extravagantly costumed, eye-dazzling motion picture spectacle ever made. Horst Zagfield (lovingly known as "Zags"), pre-eminent Hollywood producer, bon vivant, and foremost hustler of female flesh on the silver screen, is looking for a bright new bundle of prurient pulchritude to present to the public; a female who possesses a face like Clara Bow, a body like Jean Harlow, and the personal characteristics of Joan of Arc - (well, the personal characteristics aren't too important!) Zagfield's wife, April, accompanies him from his sprawling multi-million dollar mansion overlooking Lake Hollywood as they drive in their custom made Pierce-Arrow to the largest, most impressive studios in all of Southern California - Zagfield Productions. But, on the way, we begin to get an idea of some of the
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kinky sexual proclivities of our esteemed producer. It seems he is a voyeur, a peeping tom, let's face it - he's a "peek freak." Snowball, their black chauffeur, resplendent in his livened white jodphur-shod uniform opens the front door for Zagfield, and the rear door for April. As Zagfield settles in the front seat, Snowball follows April into the back seat where she, dressed to the nines in fine laces, a Hedda Hopper hat and expensive lavender velvet gloves performs her expert sexual ministrations on the writhing Snowball, as Zagfield observes it all through the rear-view mirror, Using her highly glossed lips, darting tongue, and fluttering fingers, she easily brings the perspiring Snowball to a towering crescendo, erupting in a shattering orgasm. Minutes later, as Snowball has returned to the front seat and Zagfield rejoins April, she asks him, "Did you enjoy that little scene, my dear?" Zags replies as he gazes serenely out the window, "Ah, to love movies, is to love 'black and white'!" At the Studio, April (herself one of Zagfield's famous starlets) goes to the publicity department to complain of their lack of effort in publicizing her latest film. However, the three young publicists (two men and a beautiful blond girl) quickly strip away April's ruffled feelings by stripping away her clothing (and their own) and participating in a 4-way sex orgy of such searing intensity that smoke seems to pervade the room, with the four writhing, perspiring, sinuous bodies hungrily, eagerly licking, touching, sucking, and stroking each other, the sexual climate rises higher and higher until it finally explodes in a bursting four-way climax! Now in his luxurious office, Zags is "interviewing" a pert young tap-dancer who will do "anything" to appear in a Zagfield extravaganza. And she does "anything" - and everything from a soft shoe dance to a series of body contortions on top of his desk, followed by what will surely become the most talked-about, erotic, no-holds-barred sex act ever filmed. Its truly a "state-of-the-art" oral act. Beautifully backlit, lovingly lighted and brilliantly scored, this scene is certainly the piece-de-resistance of this and all X-Rated films for all time. We now cut to Zagfield's magnificent estate. It is mid-afternoon and several fortunate guests have been invited to spend the afternoon in the rose garden, sipping champagne and dipping caviar. Suddenly, a vision appears - in a peach colored dress and long blonde ringlets encircling the exquisite features of a perfect face. It is Shirley Dimples. Zag's heart jumps (as does another portion of his anatomy) - he has found his greatest discovery! Shirley Dimples will be the star of his new blockbuster - Pink Champagne He invites her to a party to be held that weekend; a "very special" party to be highlighted by the appearance of the most famous notables in all of Hollywood - indeed, of the entire film world. But Shirley, being so young, is quite shy and hesitates to accept. But with the prodding of Zag's casting director, Shirley agrees to come to the party. And what a party it is! Thousands of tiny lights sparkle like diamonds across the vast ballroom of the mansion - dozens of well-dressed (and some undressed) guests dine on the finest of gourmet delicacies, drink the most expensive of wines and liquors, They then move to the famous (or infamous) "dungeon brothel" where we see at least a dozen famous figures - from Charlie to Marlene - from Douglas to Mae - from Rudolph to June, all of them there for the sexual enjoyment of those priveleged guests of Horst Zagfield. As each guest selects his or her companion for the evening, Zags himself chooses Mae for later. But first, he removes himself from the group and silently proceeds to a secret passageway equipped with hidden peep-holes, one at each chamber used by each of his guests and their celebrity partner to indulge their most bizarre sexual fantasies. We follow him along as he indulges in peeping tomism at its best-couples performing the most outrageous sexual acts while he (and we) watch without their knowledge. As he finally concludes his "walk-down-erotic-lane" he meets Mae, and she greets him warmly; "I'm glad you finally came up to see me, big boy." And big he is! - and fabulous she is - as they both tear into each other in a fevered flurry of erotic frenzy ... And nothing is more fun - or sexier than the spectacular Pink Champagne!
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